I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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