sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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