South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
