Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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