I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
This baby is an asshole
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
