i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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