Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
