Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
