I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Please don't give away my fajitas
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