i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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