I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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