she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
