The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize