Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
