I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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