No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm like, not good at living.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
