I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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