He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize