If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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