I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The uberlube is also flammable
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
