she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
