think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Hippo gnu deer
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
