Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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