just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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