Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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