Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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