Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
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Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
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I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
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So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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