After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'd cum for enchiladas.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
