I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
