Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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