Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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