just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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