he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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