I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
