Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
