everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
