dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
