I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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