Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
They took my balls.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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