I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
