Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
