She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
