from now on my penis is your penis
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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