Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
