Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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