Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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