I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
