Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
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He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
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And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize