Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
