You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
