he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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