fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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