Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
