I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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