ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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