Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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