This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
