can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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