That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
