Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I intend to get homeless drunk
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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