That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
