There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize