so that wasnt chicken after all
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
