Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
