He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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