wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
