I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
